winter daydream
winter daydream
+
malformalady:

Koi fish swimming in a circle
+
+
+
+
+
"Anorexia
Perfectionism personified into a starving girl who doesn’t look like she is starving until all of a sudden they notice she’s lost weight and they wonder how and why and they see the dark circles under her eyes that she is too tired to cover up anymore
Anorexia
Hospitalizations and relapses and EKGs and therapy and refeeding and medicines for the depression and the anxiety and there is no medicine for the self hatred. There is only time.
Anorexia
Nostalgia for a time when you were thinner and things were better and wondering why you feel so sick when you go fourteen hours without food when you used to spend fourteen days on three protein bars and a lot of tea and water and you were “fine” - Nostalgia that tricks you into thinking things were better when really you don’t remember hardly anything from those eighteen months and the only photos you have to look back on are of your thighs and not of the world around you
Anorexia
Weight lost and gained and time lost as nothing but a newfound view of true pain and isolation is gained because you chose the scale and the workout machines over friends and family because there might have been food there and you might have had to eat
Anorexia
Now clinging as you fight to make sense of what it means to be a healthy weight for the first time in your life, not too much, not too little, and yet nothing feels quite right
But now it is not the therapy and the pills that will help you recover
It is the focus on what makes you happy instead of on the size of your jeans
It is the hugs from your dad and the cuddles with your cat on a rainy day and a stroll through the market on a sunny one and a fresh bouquet of flowers and eating a third of a baguette as you wander the city with friends because eating can be mindless in a good way and food can be fuel and not everything has to be focused on
Anorexia
anymore."
I’m finally beginning to see what recovery looks like (k.r.)
+
astrolily:

shaitea:

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE

talent
+
+
+
+
mazzystardust:

US Harper’s Bazaar April 1995 | Kate Moss by Patrick Demarchelier
+
+

more here
+
+